Death

I've been a bit quiet on this blog lately. As life has its natural way of throwing curve balls and sudden changes, I've been more or less involved in the experiences and thinking deeply about the necessity to internalize and digest before expressing again. It's like trying to find your footing before taking the next leap. Somehow or other, I keep coming back to this place to try to send out seeds of higher thought patterns to communicate with anyone who has their attention in the direction of Self and super self.

There is an experience which I try to communicate through various means, which is an antidote to one of the most intense existential conundrums of life... The mystery of death.

Fear and fascination with death is certainly instilled in us the very first time we meet its gaze, the first time we witness its touch on someone we love, and the deep mystery that haunts us from that moment on. What is it like to die?

Our response to facing death seems to shape much of our behaviour, both positive and negative. The pain, loss, and grief we feel is something no one can prepare us for, and in that sorrow, we attempt to identify and empathise with the deceased, but we have no means of doing so. No tools to understand the place or space they now occupy. We are left with a chaotic and unsettling feeling which cannot be nullified by any amount of theoretical, philosophical, or religious explanation... We are forced to accept mystery.

What if however, we could settle this mystery, at least for our own selves, via Mystical Experiences induced either through deep meditation retreats or shamanic use of psilocybin or ayahuasca? The experience of an "Ego death" is certainly the closest notion of dying anyone living has ever related, and these substances have a decent and reliable record of inducing them. It is, at least in the experience, a very very realistic recreation of the experience of death. At least, while you are going through it, you are convinced that you are in fact dying...

For me, the experiences I have had, allow me to understand that even after my physical body dies, something that is more intrinsically me, my awareness, or loci of consciousness continues. I am not unafraid of dying, because as far as my experience goes, it will surely be a very difficult thing to leave behind all that I know and to accept all the faults and promises my life held.

It will surely prove an ultimate test of my spiritual capacity.

I do however feel like death is less mysterious because of the insights these experiences have shared with me. It feels as If I've been able to have a sneak peek at the show to come.

Thus I can in some way prepare myself for it. I now know that I have to be able to let go gracefully, accept my faults, try to settle all unfinished debts and responsibilities before it comes, and ultimately be able to surrender at the appropriate time. To accept death as an innate part of life is, in essence, to truly love the full reality of your being and its perpetual cycles.

"He who wagers his life only to wear the jewel of love ceases to have any fear of death"
-Unknown baul mystic

Now, while it may be impossible to objectively verify this understanding, the experiences that these substances allow are shared in some or many ways by people of all varieties of spiritual/religious backgrounds. It is a field yet to be properly and fully investigated but watching current trends in psychedelic research. I am confident that we will gain a deeper and deeper understanding of why we are capable of having these experiences. Do they actually give us an inside look at our impending transition? Or are they mere hallucinations without any basis in reality?

I choose to accept them as valid evidence, and thus I feel more peaceful and hopeful to let go and allow others to go as well. Death is absolute, unbiased, and inevitable, it serves us well to learn to accept it gracefully. Do not resent it, no matter how tragic and untimely...

You never know the true story of life.